Dear Tata,my name is Thandi

Dear Tata my name is Thandi and I hope that you remember me,because my Pain remembers you.
See, it was my Tears which picked up the Pen this morning, hoping to scar the Page the same way in which you had scarred me.
Tata, I was there. I was there when you hit her for the very first time with the same hands which you had used to caress her last night.
I was there when you called her a slut, words formulated with the very same lips which you had used to kiss her "goodnight".
Dear Tata, I was there. I was there when you questioned her loyalty
I was there when you questioned her Love for you and I was also there when you questioned her capabilities as a Woman,but she was not there when you questioned mine.
She wasn't there when you chased my friends away when they came over,because you had wanted us to spend some "quality-time"
She was not there when you baptised your manly organs into my womanly wells, thinking that that would cleanse you off your bastardly ways.
But somehow Tata, I still believed in you.
I still believed in you like a Catholic believes in a Rosary
I still believed in you whole-heartedly, because I Prayed for you more than I Prayed for myself.
And sometimes I would find myself clutching a Bible, hoping to defeat the demons inside me which you had lustfully inserted in me with your semen, that time when you had forgotten that I was a seed of your own.
Dear Tata, you were blinded by the two pyramids which stood on my chest. The two pyramids which as a Father you were supposed to protect, but you were the one responsible for oppressing them nightly with your chest.
Dear Tata, my name is Thandi, and I hope that you remember me. Remember me please, because you are the man that ruined me.
For years I laid on my back and welcomed various men in between my legs.
Men who dug for Love in the organ that lies in between my thighs, forgetting that Love is found in the organ that lies on the left-hand side of my chest.
But Tata you ruined me,so I no longer feel worthy of any man's Love. Infact I don't even want a man's Love.  
And every time I close my eyes to try and picture you, I see an empty bottle of Black Label beer instead,because to me that's all you ever were. That is all you ever represented.
I remember how every Saturday night, you would drown your guilt in the bottle, while back at home Mama was drowning in her tears of sorrow. Sorrow which was caused by you.
So this morning I refused to let my Tears drown me, I commanded them to write to you and they begged me to spit the Truth.
So today I told my Mama that while you were making Love to her, you were fantasizing about your daughter in your head.
So I told Mama about the "quality time"we had shared. I told her everything, yes, I told her that you had raped me.
Dear Tata,your abuse chased me away from men,so I lingered in the path of women.
I found Love for the very first time inbetween the thighs of another woman.
Yes, I told her that too,and that's why I'm now lying on a piece of cardboard underneath a bridge in Adderly street.
I told my Mama that my father had raped me,and she did'nt believe me
 I told her that I was inlove with another woman,and she disowned me.

Dear Tata, my name is Thandi and because of you the world is against me.
I hope that you remember me, because my wounded body and soul remembers you